The Amish Voice 5
On numerous occasions, I have heard well
meaning parents make the statement: “Don‟t
you know that obeying your parents is the
first command in the Bible?” And of course,
this question is backed up with Ephesians
chapter 6:1-3, where the Apostle Paul wrote:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord:
for this is right. Honour thy father and
mother; (which is the first commandment
with promise;) That it may be well with
thee, and thou mayest live long on the
earth. —Eph 6:1-3
If you take a close look at that verse, you will
understand that it is not saying that parental
obedience is the first commandment. Rather,
it is saying “the first commandment
with
promise
”. So what does it mean when it says
with promise
?
Answer: It simply means it was the
first of ten
commandments
given to Moses in Exodus 20
that had a promise attached to it.
Do you know what that promise
was?
Answer:
That it may be well with
thee, and thou mayest live long on
the earth.
So again, rather than say “
parental
obedience is the first command-
ment
”, we should say, “
parental
obedience is the first command-
ment with promise.
”
Secondly, it is important to understand what
age group Paul was addressing in chapter 6:1-
3. He writes, “children…” which means he is
speaking to children—not dads, not moms,
not even adults. He is clearly speaking to chil-
dren.
I understand that some adults look at their
offsprings as children, regardless of what age
they become. Even at 30, 40, and 50 years of
age, they are still considered children who are
bound to the first commandment. But let‟s
consider the context in which this was written.
In chapter 5 (previous chapter), Paul ad-
dressed husbands and wives. In chapter 6, he
addresses children, fathers, servants and mas-
ters. These are all positions which various
people are fulfilling at certain time periods in
life. In other words, a husband is not a wife, a
master is not a child, a child is not a father.
In the New Testament, Jesus repeats an Old
Testament statement when said:
For this cause shall a man leave father
and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:
and they twain shall be one flesh?
—Matthew 19:5
Notice that the child is in a adult position
when it says “For this cause shall a
man
leave
father and mother.
”
The man is no longer a child. He has grown
up and is now expected to act like an adult
and leave his father and mother and cleave to
his wife.
This does not mean that adults should stop
honoring their parents. In fact, God com-
mands all to honour their parents.
For God commanded, saying, Honour
thy father and mother: and, He that
curseth father or mother, let him die the
death. —Matthew 15:4
And so we see, according to the Scriptures,
children
are commanded to
obey
father and
mother while
adults
are commanded to
hon-
our
their father and mother.
What is the difference between obeying and
honouring? Let‟s see how the dictionary de-
fines the two words.
Obey means to submit, follow,
observe, conform and mind.
Honour means to respect, admire,
esteem, and reverence.
Is it possible to disobey father and
mother and yet honour them at the
same time? The answer would
have to be yes. Let me explain:
Suppose a man and woman want
to get married. To do so, they must first leave
father and mother and become one flesh. And
let‟s just suppose that, in time, the man‟s par-
ents want to move to another part of the coun-
try, but before doing so, they approach their
married son and ask their son and his wife to
move with them. However, the wife doesn‟t
want to move.”
In a case like this, the young husband and
wife would
first
and
foremost
have to consid-
er their own family, future and lives; even if it
meant they reject the father and mother‟s de-
sire to move with them.
Let‟s take this study of family relationships
another step. If we go back to Ephesians 6:1,
you will notice that it says: “
Children, obey
your parents in the Lord.”
We live in a world today when children some-
times have to choose between obeying parents
and the Lord. If such is the case, the child is
required to obey the Lord first. The same is
true when it comes to husband and wife. The
Lord must be
first
and above all other family
relationships.
Consider the words of Jesus, when He said:
Think not that I am come to send peace
on earth: I came not to send peace, but a
sword.
For I am come to set a man at variance
against his father, and the daughter
against her mother, and the daughter in
law against her mother in law. And a
man's foes shall be they of his own house-
hold.
He that loveth father or mother more than
me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth
son or daughter more than me is not wor-
thy of me. —Matthew 10:34-37
In conclusion of our study, please allow me to
make a point concerning child abuse. It devas-
tates me to tears when I hear of adults who
abuse their own children in a sexual or physi-
cal way.
There is a limit to the child's obedience.
When a parent is not acting in the Lord,
he is not to be obeyed. The Lord has noth-
ing whatsoever to do with the filth of un-
righteousness and abuse of precious chil-
dren. If a child can break away and free
himself from such parental corruption, he
has every right to be freed from his par-
ent. The Lord came to set men free from
the abuse and the filth of sin, not to en-
slave men to it, and especially not to en-
slave children to it.
—
Preacher's Outline and Sermon Bible Commentary
One of the most severe warnings ever issued
in all of history was issued by the Lord Jesus
to adults who abuse children:
Mark 9:42-48, says:
“And whosoever
shall offend one of these little ones that
believe in me, it is better for him that a
millstone were hanged about his neck,
and he were cast into the sea.
And if thy hand offend thee [by abusing a
child], cut it off: it is better for thee to
enter into life maimed, than having two
hands to go into hell, into the fire that
never shall be quenched: where their
worm dieth not, and the fire is not
quenched.
And if thy foot offend thee [by abusing a
child], cut it off: it is better for thee to
enter halt into life, than having two feet to
be cast into hell, into the fire that never
shall be quenched: where their worm di-
eth not, and the fire is not quenched.
And if thine eye offend thee [by lusting
after a child], pluck it out: it is better for
thee to enter into the kingdom of God with
one eye, than having two eyes to be cast
into hell fire: where their worm dieth not,
and the fire is not quenched.”
Children Obey Your Parents
—by Joe Keim