The Amish Voice 11
women to come to our house to pray over
Rachel. That same day, Rachel made a vow
to stay sexually pure until marriage and
follow the Lord all the days of her life.
David, now that you and Rachel found
each other and have been dating for just over
a year, we have also added you to our daily
prayer list. Almost every morning for the
past year-and-a-half, we have sat down
together on the couch and prayed for the two
of you.
It’s been exciting to watch as God gave
you and Rachel a desire to read book after
book on healthy, godly marriages and
families. You get ten stars for doing a
GREAT job and leading the way. We are
impressed by your knowledge of the
scriptures and the stand you have taken to
stay sexually pure until married. Truly, the
Lord has answered our prayers and done a
great work!
Our family loves you and your family.
We consider all of you as dear friends and co
-
laborers in the Lord. We love the way you
all have made God and family most
important in your lives. Truly, we share
many of the same values and beliefs; only
God could have made such a connection.
Having said all that, let us conclude by
saying thank you for coming and talking to
us about your future dreams with our
daughter. It is at this point that we would like
to ask you some questions before we round
the next bend in the road. Please answer
them honestly and to the point.
Questions and Commitments
1.
Why have you chosen our daughter as
the partner you wish to marry and spend
the rest of your life with?
2.
What do you expect being married to
Rachel is going to be like?
3.
Have you considered where you will live
after you get married?
4.
What have you learned from your dad
about being a husband and a father?
5.
What do you consider your role as a
husband and parent should be?
6.
What are your goals for the near and
distant future?
Can you assure us that you are you
going to take care of our daughter
financially?
Will you work hard, provide for
her and your family, and never use money as
a weapon?
She doesn’t have to live in a castle, but
she should have a safe and comfortable
home, clothing, and food.
Can you see yourself being happy and
content with our daughter even if life deals
you a blow and you both end up being poor?
Will you take care of her emotionally?
Two things will destroy your marriage: self-
centeredness and bitterness. Guard against
these. Inside our daughter’s heart is a round
hole we call “emotional need.” Inside of your
heart is a square peg that is somehow going
to have to “fit” with her. Are you willing to
knock off the edges of that square peg in
order to fulfill her emotional requirements?
She doesn’t think or react like you do.
You may see something and laugh; she may
see it and cry. You may say something that
you thought was the sweetest thing in the
world, but it may make her very upset. God
designed you to be the one who can meet her
needs; are you willing to go out of your way
to guard against self-centeredness and
bitterness and take care of Rachel’s
emotional needs?
Will you take care of her physically?
As a father, it has been my job to protect my
“
princess.” As her husband, it will be your
job is to protect your “queen.” If someone
were to threaten her, will you step in front of
her? By protecting her physically, I also
mean intimately. Consider that she is the
weaker vessel, as described in the Bible.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honour unto
the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that
your prayers be not hindered. -– 1 Peter 3:7
Will you take care of her spiritually?
Do you know that 33 times in the Bible, men
are told to love their wives? But it tells wives
to love their husbands only twice. You are
asking for our daughter’s hand. I know what
a woman of God she is right now. When I
place her hand in yours in marriage, I am no
longer responsible for her spiritual health and
training. One day, after living together for
many, many years—you are going to present
her hand to God. Will she be a godlier
woman at that point than the day we gave her
to you?
Esther and I strongly believe that you
must be the spiritual leader of your family
and future children (our grandchildren)
according to God’s design. Will you take
responsibility to read the scriptures to Rachel
and your children? Pray over them? Take
them to church on a regular basis?
Will you, as the leader in your home, put
forth your best efforts to pray regularly for
the salvation and marriage partners of your
children?
If you can take care of our daughter
financially,
mentally,
emotionally,
physically, and spiritually as outlined in this
letter, then you have our blessing. If you
can’t, we need to know now.
After every question was answered and
we spent time in prayer, Esther and I both
said, “Yes” to David. From there, things
moved right along. On May 18, 2013, Esther
and I willingly and wholeheartedly gave our
precious little bundle of joy over to God’s
appointed man in marriage.
May I encourage you, dear reader, to
follow a similar pattern with your own
children, regardless of their age? If your
children are already grown, don’t forget: you
can still make a difference in the lives of
your grandchildren. —Joe Keim
This article was written for the Amish Voice,
but if you would like a copy of this in
booklet form, please write to MAP, P.O. Box
128,
Savannah, Ohio 44874 and ask for the
Love, Dating and Marriage booklet. ($.50
each—postage paid) —End
—
Illustration by Lydia Chorpening
Love, Dating, Continued From Page 10
