8 / 16
The Amish Voice 8
I am writing letter as a plea to fathers in
this generation. My heart has been deeply
hurt by the things I see happening in
today's generation, even in churches and
religious circles.
We live in a fatherless generation. Our
children have absentee fathers (whose
own fathers were too busy for them) who
somehow feel that fatherhood consists of
special privileges, sharing seed, and
providing an income (if their families are
fortunate). When they come home from
work, they figure that their day's work is
accomplished, and so they put up their
feet and relax while the wife and mom,
who has been working hard all day,
giving emotionally, spiritually, and
physically to the children and is ready to
relax as well, dishes up supper and cleans
it all up, while trying to take care of the
children alone.
Many times she is alone in trying to raise
the children, and she is the one who
carries the vision, feeling deeply
burdened with the many unmet needs
of her children's hearts and the lack
of spiritual leadership in the home.
She carries many burdens that are
not hers to carry.
Often, she
lives
in
bitterness
and
unspoken
hurt. These
feelings
which are
buried
alive
begin to take their toll
on her body and she
lacks energy and joy and
peace.
She
feels
overwhelmed and doesn't
know which way to turn.
She tries to communicate
the children's needs, as well
as her own, but she is weary and worn,
and it comes out in a whiny tone, which
further serves to shut down her husband's
emotions. She feels trapped, because a
good wife, she has been told, is not
supposed to discuss her husband's flaws.
When she does share, she often feels
unheard and then guilty because she
spoke up.
Many, many women are in this situation,
with large families, trying to raise their
children, feeling no hope for the future
and little fulfillment in life, because they
married for love, for companionship, for
a husband to love and care for, and in
turn, she believed that she would be
loved and protected.
When she feels unprotected, her respect
falls. When her respect falls, his love for
her wanes. This vicious cycle drains the
marriage and brings hurt, pain, and
bitterness. It causes the parents to be
focused inward on their own pain, unable
to focus on their children's needs and
pain, allowing negative habits to
form. This causes problems and
strongholds to form in the
household, creating more work
and more frustration and
weariness
for
the
parents.
Soon, all
the hurt and
pain
is
causing mom
and dad to
speak harshly
to their children. Love
is no longer in the home.
We have long forgotten
to pray and read the
Bible with our children.
We don't know where to
begin fixing it. The enemy
sighs in satisfaction. His
mission to steal, kill, and
destroy is well on its way to completion.
But it does not need to end this way. If
we can wake up, if we can go back to the
basics, if we can go back to God and His
Word, He can turn it around. There is
nothing too hard for God. He began a
good work in us and He is faithful to
complete it. He is the author and the
finisher of our faith. He is capable of
healing us completely—body, soul, and
spirit. He already paid the price for it, and
we can receive it and believe it. He is a
good, good Father.
If a man and his wife can turn to God in
repentance with all their hearts, and
submit their wills to His, following His
leading and direction in obedience, then
He will make their path strait. He will
shine His light on their journey and show
them the way. They can once again find
joy, beauty, and meaning in their lives
and set their children up for success
instead of destruction. He is such a
faithful God and such a good Father. He
is not willing that any should perish, but
that all should come to repentance and
experience the great love He has for
them.
He is waiting for fathers to wake up and
find deep down inside themselves the
men He created to love and lead their
wives and children in righteousness. He
created YOU, whoever you are, wherever
you are, for a divine purpose. He wants
you to start with the family He gave you.
Your work is not as important as your
family. Money is not as important as
your family. Your children and your wife
need you. If you can wake up and love
them and spend time with them and
lovingly lead them, they will love you
back a hundred times over. You will be
their hero and you will be of all men
most blessed.
With love,
Your Sister in Christ
A Letter to Fathers
By Norma Miller
END