I was born and raised in the Amish religion. I am no longer Amish. After many years of separation from my family due to Amish teachings, we now have conversations about Jesus. I am compelled to share my story but understand that in doing so, our relationship may be severed again.

From my earliest years, I was taught that I could have hope that I was on my way to heaven but could never know for sure. I clearly understood that if I were to die as non-Amish, there would be little to no hope of me going to heaven.

In my early twenties, I began to work as a babysitter for English families. After nine years of babysitting for a Christian family, they began to witness to me. I didn’t understand why. Couldn’t they see that I was dressed in Amish clothes? Didn’t they know that someone such as myself knew all there was to know about the Bible? One day, my employer told me that the devil believes, and he quivers. I knew I was missing something.

That evening, I went to bed mentally exhausted. Belief in Jesus could mean severe rejection from my family. I needed to be certain I wasn’t making a mistake. Within the hour, I awoke and accepted the gift of salvation. I was done fighting it. Within another hour, I knew that I could not remain Amish indefinitely.

During the next year and a half, I bore the heavy weight of living as a hypocrite. Four times a year, it was required of me to verbally say to the Amish church that I agreed with their teachings. I lied.

God began to comfort me with the words of Psalms 31:2-5, which begins, “Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.” I prayed these verses many times each day, over and over for four months. As I became vocal about my faith in Jesus, my parents suffered mental distress because of pressure coming from the Amish. I believe that the number one reason as to why most Amish believers never make it out of this religion is because of the need to spare their parents from much sorrow and suffering that is caused by the separation of family members by Amish leaders. This was the reason that I myself was not able to simply come out on that day when Jesus became my Lord.

My parents soon realized that I was in God’s Word daily. This is a sure sign of trouble for an Amish person. Leaders know that such a person will not likely remain faithful to Amish teachings. Amish are taught to read God’s Word only on Sunday and to read it only in German. All Amish sermons and many of the hymns are in the German language as well. I am very thankful that my parents allowed me to have an English Bible.

Eventually, my family and I were expected to be in family counseling because of my faith in Jesus. I tried to speak of my faith in these family sessions, but even the counselor did not want to hear of it.

There came a time when my mother was in such distress that she could not eat but would lay on the couch and nibble on toast. She knew that if I left the Amish, she might not see me for a very long time, and our relationship would never be the same again.

One day, I got ready for work and came downstairs to eat breakfast and pack my lunch. In the kitchen, stood an Amish lady. I had no doubt why she was there. She had come to put me in an Amish mental institute because of my faith in Jesus. In this institute, I would have been prescribed medication for depression while suffering severe oppression.

As my home began to fill with more Amish, I was able to sneak my forbidden cell phone into the bathroom where I tried to call for help. There was no answer, so I texted a friend who was a missionary to the Amish. Since the bathroom door was not locked, my mother came in. I quickly hid my cell phone, then took off my prayer covering, let down my hair, and removed my apron. To do so while Amish were gathering at my house meant that I was mentally ill. My mother fled from the room. Being alone again, I contacted a pastor’s wife who lived down the road. She agreed to come get me.

I exited the bathroom and heard the Amish lady singing hymns. Shaking visibly, I went to my bedroom and sat in a chair while trying to regain control over myself. By this time, more Amish were gathering in my bedroom.

After quite some time had passed, I heard voices and knew that help had arrived.

Upon going downstairs, I was stunned to see three police officers in a room filled with Amish. My friends were outside. Many discussions had transpired behind the scenes before the police had agreed to enter the house and check on my welfare. Upon entering, they were able to see that this was a hostage situation.

The Amish tried to persuade the officers that I was mentally unstable, even suicidal, and needed to remain in their care. Often they are successful at persuading authorities to believe that they have complete control over any problems that arise within their culture. This time, however, the police were being pressured by my English friends who were waiting outside.

The police concluded that since no power of attorney existed, and because I was 37 years old, they could neither keep me nor take me anywhere against my will.

If I had called the police on my own without the backing, pressure, and prayers coming from the English world, I believe I would not have made it out that day. I know one man in a similar situation who ended up in an Amish mental institution. I also have friends whose family moved into their house to keep them from leaving the Amish religion. These friends eventually escaped in the middle of the night with their baby and young child, aided by their English neighbors.

“Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength. Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth”
Psalm 31:2-5

God had prepared my heart to live out this passage. A net had been laid for me. Without my knowledge, my employer and my ride to work had been called ahead of time and were told that I was ill. The English authorities are aware that unlicensed mental health care facilities for the Amish exist as well as facilities that house Amish men who are guilty of incest. The U.S. Constitution was written to protect against oppression from overpowering religious leadership. The Amish have been granted many privileges by the government throughout the years that are not granted to other citizens. I strongly believe that with every privilege granted, the religious leaders have gained great control, which has made it increasingly difficult for Amish to leave their religion and live in freedom. Altogether, it took me 23 years.

Please pray for the Amish.