Interview of a {former Amish} Woman (Part 1 of 2)

The following article was taken from If Meadows Speak.

Author and interviewer, Tammy, has graciously given us permission to repost her interview with Deborah (not her real name, for the sake of protection), a former Amish woman who shares what it was like when she and her family got excommunicated from the Amish church.

Part 1 of 2

The Crucible — Interview of a {former Amish} Woman

Q: What is it about your faith that conflicted with the Amish order?

“Deborah”: There is a scripture verse that comes to mind. John 4:24, God is a Spirit and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

Starting at a young age, even as a child I could see there were rules that just didn’t make sense.

I’m sure I was a challenge to my parents because many times I would ask questions like “Why do we have to do it that way?” or “Why is this wrong?” The standard answers of “That’s just the way we’ve always done it.” or “Because the bishop said so.” would never satisfy my sense of what was right and what was wrong.

As I got a little older and started to see some hypocrisy and double standards I had even more questions to which there were no satisfactory answers.

I was born into one of the more dysfunctional homes in our community. Into a home where the family regularly experienced a lot of pain from the rages of a father who had an uncontrollable temper. All of us did our best to hide what was happening in our house because to be “different” was something we dreaded, as most Amish do.

Acceptance and value comes from conformity and non-resistance to the “rules”, not in standing out. Looking back, I believe the conflict in our home contributed to my desire to seek out truth because the pain in my life kept me from ever being comfortable or happy at that time.

When I met the Lord Jesus as a teenager I recognised the Truth I had been looking for. For years I had heard from the leaders in their bi-weekly sermons that it was “impossible to know that you are saved”.

Using various methods, they explained to us the way to being right with God was to obey your parents and submit to the ministers, which we all knew meant to obey all the church rules.

When I met the Lord I knew they were wrong.

I immediately had a revelation by the Holy Spirit that I had been “saved” and my salvation had nothing to do with all their church rules. I knew it for months before I was able to find scriptures that proved it.

It became impossible for me to live under a belief system that I knew to be wrong in its interpretation of what was required for salvation.

Q: Do you feel like it was worth the sacrifice to leave?

“Deborah”: I have only recently been able to dissect this part of my life into several different pieces or components:

1. Who the Amish are as a people.
2. My life growing up in their midst and then leaving the order.
3. My journey with the Lord that started while I was still a part of the order, a journey that continues yet today.
4. My complicated connection with the Amish that still exists because of relationships with family members that are still in the order and will remain there.

The answer to the this question involves several of the components I just mentioned. I do feel it was worth the sacrifice to leave because I left in obedience to the leading of the Lord.

I have the joy of the Lord and have no desire to go back. I am so thankful for the freedom that God has brought me into. Not just freedom of lifestyle but freedom to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

However, after all these years, sometimes I still feel a twinge of pain when I see certain interactions among them.

For instance, when I see a group of young mothers, small children peeking out from behind their skirts, chatting with that relaxed ease that comes from having known each other all their lives. Or when there is an accident, disaster or a death in the community and all the buggys start to pull in immediately with food, supplies and support for as long as it takes.

This kind of community life was a part of my life for many years but I am now an “outsider”. They expect nothing from me and would be uncomfortable if I tried to be a part of these interactions.

I believe the Lord wants to bless His people with “community” but it is difficult to find it among His people today. True “community” is relationships that are based on the love of God for each other and the freedom of the Holy Spirit in our midst.

In conclusion, if I would have known before I left, how hard it would be to have all those emotional ties severed, I may not have had the courage to leave.

Nevertheless, looking back from the vantage point of freedom, by the grace of God I would do it all over again. Once I tasted of the all-encompassing love God has for me, I also began to experience from Him the value and acceptance my soul was so hungry for.

The Shunning — Interview with a {former Amish} Woman

Q: Based on what you know of spiritual abuse, to what extent do you think the Amish community may experience this?

“Deborah”: Rules are enforced by varying degrees of isolation for those who do not obey them.

All the rules are a part of a religious belief system that controls the people through shame, fear of man and lack of understanding or knowledge of God. The people are taught and many truly believe, to leave the Amish Order and disobey the rules, is to leave God.

There is usually a kind of grace period where the use of persuasion is employed, which means the leadership will be making numerous trips to your house to talk to you about your “disobedience”. This is an awkward and embarrassing thing to endure for all involved.

Then there is the ordeal of confessing your “sin” publicly to the rest of the congregation when you finally do comply and come back into obedience to the rules. This is the method most often used in “correction” and is very effective because it causes such a feeling of shame.

If this process fails and a person persists in refusing to comply, they will eventually be excommunicated.

This means they will not be allowed to partake of communion, and in many communities, no longer allowed to sit at a table and eat a meal with any other Amish church member. An Amish person who eats a meal with an excommunicated member is considered to be violating the rules.

The Amish culture is held together and revolves around their religious belief system. That belief system consists of traditions and good Biblical principles, mixed with misinterpreted scripture and superstition.

They are a society within a society, or a culture within a culture, just like the Black communities or Hispanic communities of America have their own cultures or societies.

They have their own language and traditional rules to follow, some are written and some are not. The rules that are not written are no less powerful than those that are, and all community life and behaviour is governed by the rules.

Q: What sect of the Amish Order were you in?

The particular order I was born into is known as the Old Order Amish.

Q: What does the Amish faith look like? For example: What is considered sin?

“Deborah”: Sin is considered to be disobedience to the rules. There is a lot of emphasis on submission to authority with the attitude that submission to authority is godly even if authority is wrong.

In the event of excommunication, the Scripture in 1Cor 5:11 is often used. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner–not even to eat with such a person.

However, many of the actual sins listed in the verse are considered minor offences if considered to be sin at all, and many of the rules that govern daily life have nothing to do with behaviour the Scriptures would actually call sinful.

As Jesus said in Mark 7:13 ..making the word of God of no effect through your tradition you have handed down.

The bishops make the rules for the community.

There are no women in any positions of leadership or authority. Because of this, the rules for the women’s everyday lives often do not keep up with the rules for the men’s lives, in terms of ease and convenience.

For example, the rules for the men may allow them to use machinery that is powered by a gasoline motor for their work in the field or barn. In contrast, the women may not be allowed to use tillers or gas engine powered lawnmowers to do their work in their lawn and gardens.

The women are seen as a vital part of the family and community but not expected to give any spiritual counsel or input. They are expected to “be silent” and they are not involved in any decision making concerning the rules for the community.

As in all societies the most dependant are the most vulnerable and most likely to be abused.

Within any self governing society there is usually a hierarchy and the same is true of the Amish. There are some families in the community who are a lot more influential then others. They can sway the leaders to make or change the rules to benefit them and/or their businesses, and do so at times.

Q: So, would you say the Amish faith is based on how well you obey the rules vs. a relationship and faith in Jesus Christ?

“Deborah”: Yes I would say that. A relationship with Jesus Christ is not emphasised and in my experience, many Amish lack a personal relationship with the Lord. They are sincere and have a zeal for righteousness but it is not according to knowledge.

I would also say, “The harvest truly is great but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send laborers into His harvest.” Luke 10:2

The Medicine — Interview of a {formerly Amish} Woman

Q: Did you find Grace in your Christian life and how did you form a healthy view of God?

Deborah: I have found the grace of God to be vital in true forgiveness or any real change in my inner man.

For instance, I can mentally know I need to forgive and I can make a mental decision or choice to forgive, but only by the grace of God that comes through the working of the Holy Spirit, can true forgiveness take place in my heart. Wondrous Grace, that supernatural ability to be like Jesus.

I would like to add something here concerning the Grace of God.

I believe there are many people that have a misunderstanding of the Grace of God. There is this idea that Grace is like a sort of “magical blanket”, if you will, that covers anything about us and in us that is not pleasing to the Lord. These things are covered by this “magical blanket of Grace” and He isn’t able to see them.

I disagree with that idea and believe it is a great disservice to the people of God when they do not know about and partake of true Grace that is available to all believers.

The Grace of God is the supernatural ability of God to take any of those things you may feel like hiding from Him, change them or take them out of you and replace them with Himself. You will then become more and more like Him, not a “magic blanket covered” version of self.

There is a huge difference.

Q: What has the healing process been like for you since leaving your Amish roots?

Deborah: To be honest, for me much of the healing in my life has happened without me being aware of it, which is probably the case with most healing.

Time was a big factor I’m sure, time and some distance.

As for my personal healing process, He will often make me aware of some emotional connection that has the ability to cause pain in my life. I will then give Him that relationship or situation and invariably I will discover some time later that it no longer has the power to hurt me on a level that is detrimental to me

There was a grief process to go through when separated from family members but it is amazing how the Lord has been restoring some of those relationships for me. But they are very different then the relationships we had when I was in the Amish order because they are new, not a recycled version of the old.

They are on the basis of me being who I am versus me being who they want me to be.

I believe the Amish are a people in bondage to a belief system with cult-like tendencies.

The way the Lord explained it to me was as follows; the more individual personal choices that are taken from a people group, the closer it becomes to a cult.

The Amish do have a range of personal choices left to them, such as the freedom to choose a spouse and the freedom to choose a vocation however, there are some conditions to these choices. For the Amish, their choice of spouse also needs to be in the Amish order and their vocation choice is limited by the amount of education they are allowed to pursue.

Q: Have you found peace in Christ?

Deborah: Yes, I have found peace in Christ. Growth in all areas is a process but the Scripture is true….we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

To read Part 2, please go to: The Outside — Interview of a {formerly Amish} woman