Paul murdered Christians and thought God loved him for it. He was certain. Righteous. Committed. Serving his religion. Paul wasn’t just thinking murderous thoughts. He was breathing them. Murder was his oxygen.
He dragged believers from their homes. Watched them die. Held the coats of the killers. And called it righteousness.
- “I am a Pharisee.”
- “I am righteous.”
- “I serve God.”
Then—God knocked him off his horse.
A light brighter than the sun. A voice: “
Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou Me?” (Acts 9:4)
The man who thought he knew God asked,
“Who art thou, Lord?” Because he didn’t know.
Jesus said, “I AM Jesus whom thou persecuteth.”
There it is—I AM. The same name God gave Moses.
And then Saul realized: everything he was, Pharisee, righteous, servant of God, was a lie. And that he had been wrong about everything! He went blind. Sat in darkness for three days. No food. No water.
Because:
- “I am Saul” became “I am nothing.”
- “I am righteous” became “I am a murderer.”
- “I serve God” became “I am His enemy.”
Everything died on that road.
Then God sent Ananias, one of the very Christians Saul came to arrest. And God said,
“…Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles…” (Acts 9:15).
Not was. Is. New identity. New life.
Ananias said, “Brother Saul.”
Not terrorist. Not murderer. Brother.
Because God said so.
The scales fell from his eyes. He could see. But what he saw was new.
- Before: heretics who needed to die.
- Now: brothers who needed love.
- Before: “I am a Pharisee.”
- Now: “I am His.”
Same man. New master. New everything.
I’m sure people thought he went crazy.
Paul lost it all—status, comfort, safety. Beaten. Imprisoned. Shipwrecked. And he said,
“…I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord…” (Phil 3:8).
Not “I added Jesus to my life.” “Everything is loss.”
When you meet I AM, everything else becomes scales.
So here is the question:
- What are you certain about right now that you’re completely wrong about?
- What identity are you clinging to that needs to die?
Paul was certain. So are you. But certainty isn’t truth.
Stop adding Jesus to your life. Stop trying to become a better version of yourself.
Let the old you die. Let “I am successful” die so “I am His” can live. Let “I am certain” die so “I can see” can begin.
Because only one identity survives:
Not what you built. Not who you were. Just whose you are.
Saul the murderer became Paul the apostle. Not because he earned it. Because God said, “You are Mine.” And Paul spent the rest of his life proving it.
In chains. In pain. In joy.
“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Chri
st Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Phil 3:8).
Is that enough for you? Or are you still Saul: certain, blind, and serving your religion instead of God?
Get knocked off your horse by trusting in what Jesus Christ did for you on Calvary’s cross, when He shed His blood and resurrected again so that He could offer the free gift of salvation to all those that trust/believe in His FINISHED work of that cross.
Let the scales fall. Before you run out of time.
– Ray Burkholder