A Letter to the Fathers

By Norma Miller

September 1, 2016

I am writing letter as a plea to fathers in this generation. My heart has been deeply hurt by the things I see happening in today's generation, even in churches and religious circles.

We live in a fatherless generation. Our children have absentee fathers (whose own fathers were too busy for them)  who somehow feel that fatherhood consists of special privileges, sharing seed,  and providing an income (if their families are fortunate). When they come home from work, they figure that their day's work is accomplished, and so they put up their feet and relax while the wife and mom, who has been working hard all day, giving emotionally, spiritually, and physically to the children and is ready to relax as well, dishes up supper and cleans it all up, while trying to take care of the children alone.

Many times she is alone in trying to raise the children, and she is the one who carries the vision, feeling deeply burdened with the many unmet needs of her children's hearts and the lack of spiritual leadership in the home. She carries many burdens that are not hers to carry.

Often she lives in bitterness and unspoken hurt. These feelings which are buried alive begin to take their toll on her body and she lacks energy and joy and peace. She feels overwhelmed and doesn't know which way to turn. She tries to communicate the children's needs as well as her own, but she is weary and worn, and it comes out in a whiny tone, which further serves to shut down her husband's emotions. She feels trapped, because a good wife, she has been told, is not supposed to discuss her husband's flaws. When she does share, she often feels unheard and then guilty because she spoke up.

Many, many women are in this situation with large families, trying to raise their children, feeling no hope for the future and little fulfillment in life, because they married for love, for companionship, for a husband to love and care for, and in turn, she believed that she would be loved and protected.

When she feels unprotected, her respect falls. When her respect falls, his love for her wanes. This vicious cycle drains the marriage and brings hurt, pain, and bitterness. It causes the parents to be focused inward on their own pain, unable to focus on their children's needs and pain and allowing negative habits to form. This causes problems and strongholds to form in the household, creating more work and more frustration and weariness for the parents. Soon, all the hurt and pain is causing mom and dad to speak harshly to their children. Love is no longer in the home. We have long forgotten to pray and read the Bible with our children. We don't know where to begin fixing it. The enemy sighs in satisfaction. His mission to steal, kill, and destroy is well on its way to completion.

But it does not need to end this way. If we can wake up, if we can go back to the basics, if we can go back to God and His Word, He can turn it around. There is nothing too hard for God. He began a good work in us and He is faithful to complete it. He is the author and the finisher of our faith. He is capable of healing us completely—body, soul, and spirit. He already paid the price for it, and we can receive it and believe it. He is a good, good Father.

If a man and his wife can turn to God in repentance, with all their hearts, and submit their wills to His, following His leading and direction in obedience, then He will make their path strait. He will shine His light on their journey and show them the way. They can once again find joy, beauty, and meaning in their lives, and set their children up for success instead of destruction. He is such a faithful God and such a good Father. He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and experience the great love He has for them.

He is waiting for fathers to wake up and find deep down inside themselves the men He created to love and lead their wives and children in righteousness. He created YOU, whoever you are, wherever you are, for a divine purpose. He wants you to start with the family He gave you. Your work is not as important as your family. Money is not as important as your family. Your children and your wife need you. If you can wake up and love them and spend time with them and lovingly lead them, they will love you back a hundred times over. You will be their hero and you will be of all men most blessed.

With love, Your Sister in Christ

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