Unlimited Slices of Pie

By Norma Miller

March 1, 2020

I was recently thinking over an event that happened to me. As I was hurting, praying, and trying to process it all, I went to my prayer closet and began reading the book Uninvited. I also began to pray and journal about my thoughts and feelings. Before I share specifics of how God spoke to me through my circumstances and this book, I would like to share a little bit of my life.

My mother had mental issues, so when I was young, my dad thought it would be best for me go to live with another family. In all actuality, I ended up living in several different homes, and although the couples I stayed with were good to me, deep down I always knew they were not my mom and dad.

I cried a lot because I didn’t fully know what was going on, and, of course, I missed my parents and knew something wasn’t right. Because of my emotions and confusion about my place in life, I didn’t have very many friends, and I didn’t feel like people liked me. Soon, I realized that the problem was me and that maybe I was too much for my mom and dad to handle. I worried that maybe I was too much for others to handle as well. My emotions were messy, and I wasn’t good enough; I felt unvalued and insignificant.

It seemed like no one wanted to hear what I had to say, so I wandered around as a little girl with a bleeding heart. No one seemed to notice the pain I was going through. When I talked, it seemed like someone was always shushing me. I felt like my voice was stolen from me, and I had nowhere to belong. As I continued to grow older, I was always looking for a place of significance, but I never seemed to find it; instead, it always felt like there was no room for me.

As for my thoughts about God, I shared the view that is described in the Uninvited book. I saw the kingdom of God as a big pie with only so many slices, and if my friends got a slice, that meant there were fewer slices available for me. For this reason, I felt jealous at others’ successes and ministries. I now realize the beautiful truth; that in God’s house, there are endless slices of pie available for all to partake of!

Time passed, and I grew up and got married. My husband and I moved twelve times in the span of twenty years, so I still I felt like I didn’t know where or what home was. It felt like I was always leaving friends and then needing to find new ones. Sooner or later, my friends would reach out less, and talk less and less, until eventually our communication would fizzle out completely. I continued to struggle with feeling appreciated and valued.

In addition, each time we moved we would find a new church, and it almost felt like going to a new school. The women at each church seemed to already know each other and clearly didn’t need me. This became harder for me as I felt a stronger calling to partake in a counseling and women’s ministry. I questioned, “How in the world am I going to find my way if no one needs me, wants me, or notices me?”

Every few years, I would have an experience where I did or said something out of a sincere desire to help, but it seemed that I would always end up causing hurt and withdrawal. This failure to help would hurt me so desperately because I had a compassionate heart. If I realized that I hurt someone, it devastated me. In addition, I knew in my heart that I was never trying to come across in a mean way, but sometimes I couldn’t help myself.

If you fast forward several years to now, you would probably notice that a lot has changed in my life. I recently woke up and saw the word Häagen-Dazs. I wondered what this word meant.  I seemed to remember it being a brand of ice cream, so I looked it up and saw that it was indeed related to ice cream. Häagen-Dazs ice cream was invented by a peasant couple in New York. This couple began making and selling high quality ice cream from a homemade recipe that quickly became famous.

As I sat there reading about the ice cream company, I realized that I used to think God was giving me some special recipe or idea for financial success, but I never knew what it would be. Then, as I began to read through the book Uninvited, as I mentioned earlier, I came across the most beautiful words ever written:

“There is an abundant need in this world for your exact brand of beautiful.”

I realized with joy that this is my Häagen-Dazs: I am my own, unique, crazy brand of beautiful! I quickly understood that the reason I kept unintentionally hurting others is that I hadn’t truly realized this amazing truth, at least not fully all the way down to my toes! I realized it in my head, but my heart wasn’t completely accepting it, so if I felt unheard or unneeded, my words would come out more forcefully than I intended. What could have been gently hinted at would instead be sweepingly stated in a way that felt harsh to the other person and created a rift between us.

And this, my friends, is how God turns something ugly into something beautiful. I love the picture God gave me of my own special version of rich, creamy ice cream to share with the world! You have one too! We all need each other, and each one of us is an incredible asset to the family of God. We are all needed and valuable pieces to this puzzle called Life!

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