Ann Detweiler
Ann 's Articles
A Jesus with Skin On
Why can’t you get over it? It’s one of the most hurtful statements you and I can utter to a person who has experienced abuse.
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From Broken to Beautiful
Pain. We are familiar with that word. Most of us have experienced it at one time or another. There are many kinds of pain – physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional.
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Innocence and "The Talk"
I just want to keep my children innocent as long as possible, she said. We all do. What kind of parent doesn’t want to protect their children? But judging by the number of sexually abused children in our circles, I wonder if we really know how.
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Not my Pain
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day. It is etched deeply in my memory.
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Guilty of Murder
Conservative Anabaptists know where they stand on the abortion issue. We are not afraid to stand up for those innocent babies who have never seen the light of day. But what we fail to realize is this: In a sense, we are taking part in murder.
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Is God Safe?
Is our world safe? Is God safe? Am I safe?
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The Word that Makes Me Cringe
I have a confession to make. I cringe when I hear the word “forgiveness.”
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9 Things Survivors of Abuse Wish You Knew
Have you ever wondered what survivors of abuse wish you knew or what they wish for from you? Today, I have a simple list – complied by survivors – that answers that question.
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The Fruit of a Repentant Heart
I have no idea where your mind goes when you think of repentance. Maybe you think about a confession, or the words, “I’m sorry.” Maybe you think about King David and his repentance.
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A Teaspoon of Honey and Goodness of God
Some things are impossible to forget. Some things are impossible to forget. I can still hear the sound of his boots on the wood as he raced up the stairs after me. I can hear the door slam. But the loud beats of my heart nearly stopped when he grabbed me and I looked into his eyes.
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Sometimes
This poem is dedicated to all the little girls and boys who can relate first-hand to the inner turmoil and conflicting emotions that abuse brings. May God heal you and give you a purpose for your pain.
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10 Myths about Sexual Abuse in Anabaptist Communities
If we are going to stand up and fight for our children, we are going to have to ditch some misconceptions about sexual abuse that are widely believed in our culture.
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Consider
It was one of those days. Everything was going wrong, I thought. The children were both sick and fussy, the work was piling up, and I wasn’t feeling the best myself.
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The Question That Changed My Life
I remember it like yesterday. It was the day that I “spilled the beans.” There I sat in the gazebo. It was late afternoon. The warm sunshine brightened the landscape around me. The birds were singing cheerfully. But I didn’t notice.
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My "Why?"
A few weeks ago, I found myself asking “Why?” What is the real motive behind my writing about sexual abuse? Suddenly, I felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to write. So I sat down and wrote. Within a few minutes, a poem was formed.
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To My Dear Mother
Dear Mom, Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I wanted to get you a special card, or flowers, or something—anything to let you know how much you mean to me. But honestly, flowers and cards really don’t express it well enough. Since writing happens to be my gift, I decided that might be a better option.
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Why I Value Modesty
There was a day, nearly eight years ago, that I came to a startling realization: I no longer cared about being modest.
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How Much?
This poem was written for all the little children and women who were not believed when they disclosed their abuse experience to someone who could have taken the steps to stop it from happening again. My heart bleeds for you. I am so sorry. I pray that God would bring someone into your life to walk beside you and show you who Jesus really is.
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Christmas: Joy or Pain
It’s Christmas Eve. Millions of people are doing the last-minute preparations for the big day—Christmas. The stores are closing early tonight. Thousands are traveling to be with family and friends.
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True Forgiveness
We hear a lot about forgiveness. There are many books, articles, and quotes about what forgiveness is or isn’t. I’m about to add my understanding of it to the big pile. Some of the ideas out there about it are completely false, and I’d like to address some of those.
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Relating to Victims (Part 2)
So now that we have established a biblical response to the perpetrators of sexual abuse, let’s think about how we should be relating to the victims.
Statistics tell us that 20.5 percent of the people in our churches are sexual abuse survivors. If you have a church of 200 people, approximately 41 of those people are struggling to heal from sexual abuse.
That is over one in five church members. Yet, we hear almost nothing about sexual abuse. We don’t talk about “such things.” Often, we don’t even know who the victims are or how to help them. And sometimes, if we do know the victims, we shame them instead of believing them. We betray their trust instead of helping them heal.
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Relating to Perpetrators (Part 1)
I am shocked at the manner in which many Anabaptist churches are dealing with sexual abuse and the perpetrators.
I do not wish to point fingers at any particular church or church group. I do not wish to stir up strife. I do not wish to see divisions among people and church groups. I do not wish to make people angry at God or the church.
But I am saddened and concerned. Very concerned. Concerned enough to write this.
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Shattering a Culture of Silence
There’s an old saying that goes like this: “Silence is golden.” But is it always? Is there ever a time when silence is not a good option?
Silence may be golden in some cases, but I question whether our silence on sexual abuse in our churches has done anything other than cultivate more abuse. Most of us would like to think that we are pretty good—that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen all that often. Yet many of us personally know people who have either been abused or who have abused.
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