I am a Little Confused

I would encourage you to pray about it and do what you think is right,, I too went back to the Amish 2 times and didn't know what I was looking for.. The 3rd time I left i started going to church and soon afterwards accepted Jesus as my Saviour and now looking back that's what I was missing the whole time! It's been over a year now that I left the last time and i don't regret leaving again!! My advise for you is if you do leave maybe try not to talk to your parents until you feel you can hold your ground with them!! It toke me a while to accept that fact but I now have a wonderfull relationship with my parents!! I wish you the best and God bless!!!!!

Making a decision is hard enough without having people on either side of you telling you what THEY want you to do. Pray about this John. Also, do what your heart tells you to do because you can't please everyone, but you can please yourself. Anyone can give you advice, but in the end, it has to be your decision. I also read Ira Wagler's book. I have never been Amish so I can't imagine what you are really going through, but I do know that from what you said, you have your family on one hand, wanting you to stay with the Amish, then you have your non-Amish friends telling you that you should come away from your Amish roots. I would just have to say, if it were me, yes, I love my family, but when it comes down to it, you have to think of whats best for you. Praying does help. Good luck and God Bless you. You are in my prayers!

John, I won't try to correct your question, but I do think your concern is more about whether it's alright to leave because of religious/spiritual, moral, emotional concerns. It took me eight years to get to the point that I was comfortable with those issues. I have been gone for around 15 years now. And I will not go back to the Amish lifestyle. Yes, it's alright for you to leave. Your parents will cry for the rest of their lives unless they find the Truth in Jesus Christ. There are few true Christians in the USA, but the Amish are no exception. They are good people, but they are a cult/tradition/religion that claims to be Christianity. It's alright to leave, but I would suggest staying near Christians/ surround yourself with Christians. Stay connected with Joe Keim. The friends that you have back in the Amish love you more now that you are leaving because they are afraid for you. Not because they love you more. It's simply an increase in fear that you are hell bound. They are unaware of the Truth (Christ.) Sadly, like my parents, yours also only know the traditions of life, not necessarily our true Savior. (I dont think exactly think they are "hell bound", but their cultish lifestyle is definitely unnecessary and misleading!) This is a lot of rambling, but I hope you find a few phrases that help you. Feel free to call me if you have questions. Mr. Keim has my email and phone number. This is permission for him to give it to you. I pray that all goes well. Daniel gingerich

Hello John:I perceive you to be a very honest person, which is a very rare trait today even among the Amish people. I don't believe the real question in your heart is whether to stay Amish or not, but what would God have you to do! There is within every person that longing to be at piece with God, our fellow man and our self. Sometimes that isn't possible so we have to decide who do we really want to please! If we seek to please man we will never be at peace because not all man agree as to what we should do! People that seek to please themselves seldom if ever are pleased with themselves and the path they have chosen. The man that seeks to please God has chosen a noble path and will fine more joy in his own heart then he can contain within himself, he has to spread it abroad therefore pleasing God, his fellow man and himself! If we may let us see what God has to say about His will.1 John 2:17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever!(If we know we can abide {or live} for ever it will bring us joy) John 1:13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.We need to be born again of the will of God! Not of man, or Church, or Baptism!When I left the Amish Church at age 15 I searched for this truth for 16 years before I found it! It is so easy but most people will never see it because they don't believe it can be so simple!1 Corinthians 1Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;2By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.3For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;4And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:(John Do you believe that Jesus died for you, was buried, and rose again?)If you do You are Saved nothing - nothing!This is the hardest thing to believe having been raised as we have and most of the world has been taught it has to be more! We want to do something it has already been done 2000 years ago on the Cross When Jesus said IT IS FINISHED!Galatians:1 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?2 This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?3 Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?Now knowing that our destiny is secured we can search for the will of God. I can not give that to you nor can the Amish Church, The Bishop, The Pope, Your Friend, Your Wife or any other person. You will only find the will of God for your life in His Word the Bible.Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.To find God's will!I suggest you read Gods Word every day make sure you read at least one chapter of Acts to get you fired up, one chapter of Psalms to calm you soul, One chapter of Proverbs to guide your mind, and also start reading the Bible front to back a few chapters a day.God Bless you John!Andy MillerLebanon, MOIf you would like to talk you may call me any time at 417-594-3443 on my cell!

Hi Friend,I left Christian Science, a faith that does not acknowledge Christ as Savior at a young age. I heard the Gospel of Grace and redemption and have lived with that faith 40 years now.My Mother never got over my leaving her faith.....she tried to control me and make me feel guilty..but the guilt before God was gone....I had a very loving, Bible teaching church with folks who showed me what Jesus Love was like....If you put Christ on the throne and listen to Him first, the other things will be easier for you to deal with. I will be praying for you and you may email me anytime.....You are young....serve the Lord with gladness..not in guilt...the Lord loves a cheerful giver not one dragged on by rules and works.....in your love the Lord in sincerity, the works will come along with the joy!!!

John, I read your story with great interest, and realized it was quite different from ours.We left the Amish in 1984, after being married 4 years and having 2 children. After studying the Bible with others, we realized we had never been taught the truth of the gospel according to the Bible in the Amish church.We saw that salvation was not of works, but by faith. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Eph. 2:8-9. Christ has paid our sin debt on the cross.We then had questions to answer, and decisions to make. Shall we raise our family in the same deception and blindness that we grew up in? The answer was quite obvious.We had other questions, since we had been taught that the Amish were the only people that were "right". Are there people that actually serve God in truth? Are there churches that preach the truth? The answer is, Yes! We are not the only ones! God will lead you if you honestly seek Him.You may find my wife's book "The Greater Inheritance" helpful, as she wrote of our experiences, leading up to us leaving the Amish. You can see it or buy it at www.thegreaterinheritance.com. It is also available from Joe Keim.John Schrock

John, how precious you are to want to be with your family--that is only natural. It's hard to know what to do with such a tug of war going on in your heart. My prayers for you will be that the Good Lord guides you in this decision. He will help you know what is best, if you ask Him. You have been given great advice by the other posters. Just know you'll be in my prayers as you make this decision.

Hi JohnI'm Sam,I'm jut gonna get to the point, I too left with my wife n family n too be open n honest in great rebellion n with wrong motives,, but God has plans n is always the same he dont care bout our religion n STUFF...... l He does care bout our well bein... One thing we all focus on alot is our happiness... whih is wrong motives,,,, God wants us to be happy but thats not for us to focus on no matter wat religion or denomination,,, watwe wana focus on is our salvation n others n pleasin God not in works but bein in his will n our callin from Him,,,pray for peace n that he reveals his will to u n happiness will come along as another of God's free gifts,,,,MY encouragement :: seek ye first the kingdom of God n ALL these other things will be GIVEN unto u,,,, God Bless u richly

Hi John...I pray that God might be working in your heart and revealing His truth to you in what He desires for you to do. I know sometimes it's very hard to know when it's God's will when you are being torn apart by wanting to please men, and thinking they have all the answers when it might not even be God's Will. I am a former amish and left a year and a half ago, I left in rebellion, I wanted to please my own selfish heart and do whatever I wanted. I thought I might find happiness in doing my will, and having my way. The worlds way of saying is you have to do what makes you happy, you have to do what you want to do, you have to follow your dreams, you can't let anything get in the way of ruining your plan for life, and then at the end you realize you were lead to destruction and what you worked for is gone and you are worst off then you were before. That is Satans tactics and he does his best to try and destroy us.Now I can say God's way is so different when we give ourselves over to Him, He leads to life, He leads to where there are many blessings and there is hope, He gives peace when we surrender our decision to Him and let Him work out our life, When we say not my will, but thy will be done Lord. God is so good to us when we let Him have control over our lifes, when we trust Him in situations. God has a plan for your life, if you are obedient to Him, you might not know what to do now, but you can go to God and seek His counsel, He is the best for guidence, He is the best for any situation, He will make it known to you what His will is if you go to Him and ask for His help, if you see yourself in need of Christ, Do you see yourself as in need of help?Do you believe that Christ is the only way, and that He will always be? Oh have you seen Christ Crucified on the Cross? First we must know that we are sinners before we can recieve God's grace, we must be broken over our sin, we must see that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, as it says in Romans 3;11There is none who understands, there is none who seeks after God. This is the way we are born, we do not care about the things of God, we don't seek His counsel, nor go to Him for advise, we just want to go about our own way and think we got it all figured out. That's not what God intended us to be, and so He send Jesus to die for our unrighteousness, for wanting our own way in life, for all our sin, and when we believe in Christ we will be saved. We are made new when we simply take God's Precious Word to Heart and hold fast to it. When we believe that God is as powerful and mighty to save as He says He is. We are made free when we are in Christ. Oh it's so good to have Jesus as your guide and life. Will you choose to follow Him with all your heart? God doesn't promise that He will make life easy when we give our lifes to Him, but He promises that He will always guide us and lead us, and that He will always give us the strength and grace we need to make it through whatever might be ahead of us, God calls us to be faithful to Him and listen to His Word that is very powerful! My prayers go out for you!

you will stand alone before Christ, not with friends or family. live for Christ

I left over 50 years ago. I too debated feelings that pulled in both directions. Have fellowship with the Amish community or experience the freedom of choosing your own direction. Can I really discern in my own self what is good or bad? Or should we let someone else choose for us?A few points that come to mind. One is that not matter what you choose, you will miss the other side of your choice. Only people born into a closed society face this. Kind of like you can't win no matter what.The other point is you have to determine whether God is at work in people beyond the Amish horizon, and do you want a part of it. After making the change away from the Amish, I had the privilege of hearing from people who smuggled bibles into communist countries during the cold war period. How God was with them and they managed to contact secret church groups with success against great odds touched my understanding of seeing God at work. There were other less dramatic stories that also touched me. I fervently wished our Amish brothers could see that God loves people everywhere, but such could not happen. No missionary that does not come up to our code of dressing and conduct, etc. could ever be given the right to share in our church. To me, the choice became clear. I needed to see God at work more than enjoy the wonderful feeling of a secure community. As for you, the choice has to be yours. God has a plan and I do not pretend to know what that may be. But I pray you will sense it clearly.

Thank you for your notes of encouragement. I'm still here dragging it on wishing I could get the nerve to do something 'stay, leave' I'm very confused over the whole situation but its nice to see the stories of people going through the same experience I am I'll keep in touch it is just I can't always get to my phone all the time because of the strict Amish code we run under here.

John, I cannot give you an answer stay/go that is between you and God. Pray with your whole heart and listen He will lead you in the direction He has planned for you. I am not Amish but I do enjoy reading and learning about the Amish. As an Englisher having faced putting my faith in Him has always been the right answer. Prayers for you to seek Him first!

If I were in your shoes reading these comments, I'd be more confused than ever. Sometimes it's easier to see it from someone else's point of view. I will give you a link to my blog, where I wrote about someone who is in your shoes... you might even know her. I think she sometimes talked about you, though you might be someone else altogether (with the repetition of Amish names, it's hard to tell) . If you go back far enough, you'll find the beginning of Anna's story. Here is the link: http://aboutamish.blogspot.com/I remember well what it felt like to be torn between two worlds. It has taken me years to come around to realizing that we cannot have it all... we can either live community life among the Amish, or we can have personal freedom. It's a tough choice in which world we choose to live... but it's one every person has to make for him or herself.For what it's worth, I sacrificed the Amish community life for a life journey that has taken me places I could never have imagined, had I stayed Amish. This journey has not been without its challenges, but I would not trade that life for this one. There's a fitting quote by Joseph Campbell: "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path."And I'll leave you with a few thoughts on guilt. My husband, who grew up Roman Catholic, wanted to claim that Catholic guilt is the worst of all. He said, "The Catholics invented guilt." I responded with, "Yeah, well the Amish perfected it." No matter which path you take -- into or out of the Amish -- I hope it's the right for you and that you choose it because it's right for you, and not because you have fallen into the guilt trap.I don't envy your place between two worlds... it's a tough place to be. May you find the courage to make your difficult decision.

John,Yes, Ira's story was awesome. He's such a good writer, too. Make sure you read Saloma's book, as well, if you're able. Such courage in both of them. I commend you on your well written letter. Good grammar is always a plus in most any job.I recall a time when I was struggling with making a big decision in my life. I remember talking to God about it as I was driving home from a friend's house. "What should I do, God?" A gentle thought came to my mind. It "said" no matter what my decision God would be with me in it. That really wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted a guarantee that everything would be smooth sailing, no pain, no confusion, no mistakes, I would do everything perfectly and there would be smiles all around. God's guarantees are different, though. "I will be with you always, I will never leave you, I love you." These are God's guarantees.May God be with you, John. May He guide you, draw you close to Him, and give you strength. I will pray for you. Please keep us posted on your life.

I've been praying for you since I read your letter about a week ago. I think there are alot of young people among the amish that struggle with the question, should I stay or leave? And its like, you can't stay and you can't leave! So what do you do? I'll tell you the story of my family... I was 18 when one of my older brothers left the amish while he was dating my best friend. It tore up the family. My mom wept most of the time n dad got real depressed n carried a dark atmosphere. I could not believe what my brother did, I felt very bad for my moms hurt n I was afraid of my dad cause I didn't know what his depression would bring. Time passed, 4 yrs n I got married, then 1 of my younger brothers left. Mom wept again n was heartbroken. Dad didn't seem to be affected much. I felt very sorry for moms hurt n wondered about dad. A couple yrs later Dad left the family. Mom was devastated!! She wept all the time n would not be comforted. All this time I was asking God, Lord what does this mean? Why? A while after dads leaving, mom came to realize that the amish are not the answer for our eternity. She turned to God n He saved her from the deception she was living in, thinking being amish n obeying her parents n her husband will make sure she'll get to heaven. Now 10 yrs later I have only 2 brothers still with the amish n all the rest of us left. My dad is living the life he always longed to be able to live but couldn't because of the amish rules. He lives to please his flesh. My older brother got married, she divorced him now hes getting married again. My younger brother lived wild for several years, discovered that kind of life is not fulfilling cause he could never get enough. He always needed more. He turned to the Lord n the Lord saved him from bondage to sin. The rest of us that left the amish did so because we saw that the amish hold their traditions above Gods Word! So we couldn't support that anymore. Looking back I can see that God was working all along to get us to turn to Him alone for our answers. He was working on us when He allowed the family to be so hurt thru the boys leaving n then dad too. It is so clear to me that some people leave for their own comfort n pleasure n some leave to live for the Lord God Who created us for His work on this earth. So you will be blessed only if you choose Gods will for your life, whatever that may be. I admit that to be among the amish n under the social pressure, it is sometimes extremely difficult to see Gods will clearly, especially for young people that are trying to find their place in life for the first time. So pray for Gods will, not your parents will, or your friends, but the Lord only. Study Gods word n He will teach you thru the Holy Spirit. I'll keep praying for you n the many other young folks among the amish looking for answers.

John, I have read your story and if I can be of any help to you....I am local in Ontario, if you need a safe place to go and think for a few days/weeks/months feel free to message me.Please do not hesitate to contact me. I am by no means Amish but have numerous friends that are and all are different levels of rules etc. I am intrigued that people can live under such strict rules/guidelines. Again I can not tell you what to do, I can listen and give you a safe place in the meantime if needed! allysonlangworth at gmail dot com

John, sometimes we feel that our experience is unique. Actually there are many religious groups similar to the Amish in nature. Each of these systems takes on a life of its own and takes several wonderful people into captivity. These individuals are not captive to the love of God but captive to a system. I was captive to such a system until 3 years ago. Like you, I had struggled for years to understand whether I should stay or leave. My heart knew that it was not giving me peace or any true connection to God by staying and yet the fear of shunning and "rumors" about why I left (unwillingness, rebellion, a desire for the "world") kept me in bondage for longer than I should have allowed myself to stay. When we fear man then we can be sure the system is NOT of God. If we believe in scripture at all we must know that Christ came and died to set us FREE from such bondage. I am in my mid 50s now. Did not become part of that system until I was in my late teens and I was in it for 35 long years. Like many of the Amish people and others who have left various systems of bondage, I prayed "What is TRUTH?" And this prayer has not only led me out of my bondage but many others who prayed the same prayer have been set free. I still seek for Truth. Because of the years of brainwashing I have a difficult time associating myself with any religious organization. I am seeking to understand my Creator and even who I am. We can rest assured that the ONE who has created us and knows everything about us understands our struggles - even when we aren't sure what direction to take. I believe you have come to understand that no system brings us eternal salvation but it comes through faith in Christ and rebirth in Christ. I left the system that held me captive because staying associated with it kept my spirit in a state of unrest and I desperately wanted peace. God called me out. God wants to call everyone out of the bondage of "system worship". I pray you will find your way out.

Hey I am not going to leave a long message but I am going to say that whatever decision you make just make sure it is right for you because you have to live with you decision. I don't know much because I am only 16 but I do know that it is your decision.