Martin Miller

April 27, 2015

I was born and raised in an Old Order Amish community in Ohio. I loved growing up Amish and valued and learned much from the closeness of community, the importance of a good work ethic, and the value of family.

My Dad passed away when I was sixteen. I never really had a very close relationship with him because I always thought that he was too strict, although now that I look back, I realize that he wasn't. My Mom was a huge part of my life too, but I never had a close relationship with her, either. Unfortunately, I could never really express my inner feelings to my parents.

From a very young age, I knew that I wanted to have a personal relationship with God, but I didn't know how to attain that. I was baptized into the Amish church at the age of seventeen, and became a member. Even then, I hardly ever read the Bible because it was written in German and was hard for me to understand. I gradually started questioning some of the rules of my church. I couldn't understand why I had to be Amish in order to go to heaven.

Just before my 21st birthday, I began to get a little depressed, even though I denied it at the time. It was at this low point in my life that I left the Amish, but I had no place to live. I was out for only three days, when I went back to the Amish. When I returned, I was excommunicated for getting a haircut, having non-Amish clothes, and owning a cell phone.

Once my time of excommunication was over, I was taken back as a member, and things seemed to be better; but deep down, I still knew that I didn't have a good relationship with God. For the next year, I continued to expect and plan to leave the Amish, because I still didn’t understand why I had to follow all the rules. Then, I found a website called Mission to Amish People, where I began to read about other former Amish and why they had left. I started reading my Bible more, and finally decided to contact Joe Keim from MAP Ministry.

When I contacted Joe, he recommended that I talk to a guy in my area named Greg. I met with Greg, and he explained the Gospel to me in a way that I could understand. For the first time, I realized that everything I was doing to try to get to Heaven was the same as filthy rags to God. Greg explained to me that it is only through the grace of God and through Jesus Christ that one can be saved. One of my favorite Bible passages to this day is Ephesians 2:8-9, which says, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.”

The same night that I spoke with Greg, I gave my heart to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal Lord and Savior. The peace and joy I felt in my heart was unexplainable. After I was saved, the whole idea of why I wanted to leave the Amish was completely different.

I ended up leaving the Amish about a week and a half later. I didn't tell anyone about my plans to leave, with the exception of a few of my new friends who had helped in leading me to Jesus and everlasting life. I left early in the morning, just before I normally would have left to go to work. One of my new friends picked me up just down the road from my house. In less than two weeks, I had a place to live, a new job, and a church to go to.

One of the most difficult trials I have faced since leaving is not having the support of my family and knowing that they do not agree with my decision. My family was very upset about my decision to leave. I have spoken with my oldest brother a few times, but ever since my family realized that I have no intention of going back, they have decided not to call me anymore. We can still write to each other, but things are definitely distanced between us.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I think it shouldn't be this easy, but then I get a day where I have a really hard time. This spring, my best friend got married, and I almost couldn't stand not being at the wedding. Also, my twin brother is getting married in just a few weeks. I don't expect to be invited, but even if I am, I'm not sure if I would go; even though, I would love to see my family and friends again. Most of my friends are getting married this summer, and I'll probably miss all their weddings. I know, though, that God will help me get through all this, if I can only give it all over to Him and trust in Him.

I see many more struggles in my future, but I know that God will help me through all of those, just as He has done so far. As difficult as it is, it is through the difficult experiences that I have come to know Christ, and while I miss my family and friends, Jesus has become so much more precious to me. I finally feel like I'm where I belong, and I have a very supportive church family, which helps a lot, too.

I am currently working on getting my permanent driver's license and a car of my own. I also hope to finish studying for my GED test by the end of this year. God has certainly blessed me way beyond my comprehension, and I want to continue growing in His word and in my relationship with Him. I praise God for all the blessings that He has bestowed upon me, and I am excited to see what He has for me in the future.

This testimony has been published with permission from the owner.

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