From Darkness to Light: My Journey to the Saving Grace of Jesus Christ

By Mahlon Miller

February 4, 2025

“For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.” —Luke 19:10

I never imagined my life turning out the way it has. If you had told me years ago that I’d be where I am today—free, forgiven, and walking in the grace of Jesus—I would have struggled to believe it. My journey has been full of twists and turns, highs and lows, but through it all, God’s love never let me go. This is my testimony—not of how I found God, but of how He found me.

Growing Up in Tradition

I grew up in an Amish community, where faith was a way of life. From a young age, I was taught to work hard, be respectful, and obey the Ordnung—the set of unwritten rules that governed our lives. I memorized scripture, attended church faithfully, and tried my best to be a good person.

But something always felt… missing. I knew about Jesus, but I didn’t really know Him. I believed in God, but my faith was based more on fear than on love. I constantly worried—was I good enough? Had I done enough to be accepted by God? Deep down, I knew the answer. No matter how much I tried, I still sinned. I still fell short.

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” —Romans 3:23

The sermons at church taught me that God was holy and just, but I rarely heard about His grace. I thought salvation was something I had to earn. If I followed the rules, worked hard, and lived humbly, maybe—just maybe—God would accept me.

But that kind of thinking led me into a cycle of striving, failing, feeling guilty, and trying harder. I kept wondering, how much is enough? How could I ever be certain that I was saved?

A Heart Filled With Doubt

I remember sitting in church one Sunday, listening to the minister preach about obedience. He said that the way to heaven was through keeping the ways of our forefathers and living a separated life. But as I looked around, I saw people—good people—who seemed just as uncertain as I was. I heard prayers that sounded more like desperation than confidence.

One day, I asked an elder in the community, “How can I know for sure that I’m going to heaven?” His answer was, “We just have to do our best and hope that God has mercy.”

That didn’t sit right with me. Hope that God would have mercy? Did Jesus die on the cross just so we could hope we were saved?

“These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life.” —1 John 5:13

The Bible says we can know we have eternal life, not just hope. But at the time, I didn’t know where to turn for answers.

A Season of Rebellion

I began questioning everything. If salvation was by works, why did Jesus say, “It is finished” on the cross? If we had to earn our way to heaven, then why did the Bible say that salvation is a gift?

The more questions I had, the more restless I became. I started looking for answers outside of my community. I read the Bible on my own, looking for verses about grace, about faith, about Jesus’ sacrifice.

But instead of waiting on God, I took matters into my own hands. I thought that maybe the world had what I was looking for. Maybe freedom meant breaking away from the strict rules and living how I wanted.

So I ran. Not just physically, but spiritually. I turned to things that promised happiness but left me empty. I thought I was escaping religion, but all I found was more bondage.

Sin always looks appealing at first. It promises pleasure, freedom, and fulfillment. But in the end, it only brings emptiness. I learned the hard way that no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t outrun the ache in my soul.

“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” —Proverbs 14:12

Breaking Point

I will never forget the night everything changed. I had hit rock bottom. I had made choices that hurt people I loved. I had let down those who trusted me. More than anything, I felt like I had let down God.

I sat alone, overwhelmed by the weight of my failures, and I finally broke.

“Jesus… if You’re real… if You still want me… I surrender.”

I had nothing left to offer Him. No good works. No righteousness of my own. Just a broken, sinful man desperate for mercy.

And in that moment, I felt something I had never felt before—peace.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28

Jesus didn’t ask me to clean myself up before coming to Him. He didn’t demand that I fix everything first. He simply said, Come. And when I did, He welcomed me with open arms.

That night, I realized that salvation wasn’t about what I could do for God. It was about what He had already done for me.

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” —Ephesians 2:8-9

The Power of His Blood

For so long, I had tried to earn forgiveness. But Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that we could work for our salvation—He died to give it to us freely.

“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.” —Ephesians 1:7

When I finally understood that His blood was enough to cover my sins, I experienced freedom like never before. No more striving. No more fear. Just complete trust in Jesus as my Savior.

A New Life in Christ

Since that day, my life has never been the same. I no longer live in fear of not measuring up. I know that I am saved—not because of anything I have done, but because of what Jesus did for me.

Does that mean life is easy? No. I still face struggles. I still fall short. But now, I know that my salvation doesn’t depend on my performance—it depends on His finished work on the cross.

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” —Romans 10:9

An Invitation to Grace

To my Amish brothers and sisters, I share this not to condemn, but to invite. I know what it’s like to strive, to fear, to wonder if you’re truly saved. I know the pressure to follow traditions, to live up to expectations, and to keep up appearances. But I also know the freedom that comes from surrendering it all to Jesus.

If you have ever wondered whether you are truly saved, if you have ever felt the weight of trying to be “good enough,” know this: Jesus is calling you.

Salvation is not found in tradition. It is not found in church membership. It is not found in anything we do. It is found in Jesus Christ alone.

The door is open. The invitation is given. His grace is enough.

In His Love,
Mahlon Miller

This letter has been published with permission from the owner.

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