Winter Seeds and Summer Roses

By Norma Miller

January 1, 2013

The last few months have been wild with the challenges, stresses, and hurdles that come with being a family of seven who are learning to grow and surrender to God's plan. Things can seem downright overwhelming as we all know very well, and it takes a lot of focus and determination at times to keep our spirits and courage up so we can keep going.

It has been a season of my life when I feel that I am swallowing way more than my share of responsibility, and there have been times I have been downright resentful about it. (They say confession is good for the soul, so there you have it!) Many times I cry out to God and ask Him, "Why? Why?" It seems so unfair, especially when those who should be shouldering the responsibility are right there and refuse to shoulder their part. (My opinion, but it is very accurate, I am sure!)

It has also been a time when I feel utterly helpless in my circumstances. It is impossible for me, yet I can't seem to get help from anyone either.

Often I find myself in fight or flight mode...you know, when you feel you can't handle another minute, and you want to run away until some people get a clue and straighten up? I'm sure no one else has ever felt that way! ;) I have begged and pleaded with God to please heal my baby, please heal my husband, please remove some stress, please help the baby to sleep when I need rest, etc....You know all those feelings, I am sure.

I don't know. Maybe you never feel like this, but my hunch tells me that most of us know this feeling well or have experienced it at one time or another in our lives. No matter how hard we try to change our circumstances or try to get out of a situation, we find ourselves cornered. We begin to wonder, WHAT IS God trying to DO?! We begin to desperately plead with Him to show us whatever it is He wants us to see. ANYTHING to be out of the current situation!

While I have often been in situations like this, my current one takes the cake. There are so many different things going on all at once, almost all of which I have little control over, and, for some reason, all of them are adding stress or work for me, taking me to a place where I feel like something has to change or I might just pop with the pressure!

Have you ever noticed how during these times it also seems no one else can see the amount of pressure you are under, and they just keep saying, "You need to give this to God"?! If we are honest with ourselves, we often feel like telling them to be quiet. It can be an extremely lonely time.

Ok, so what am I getting at? What is really going on? Are you going to give us some relief? Well, no, I'm not, but Someone is; that is, after we allow ourselves to die to the process.

What?! Die?! Yes. Consider how a seed has to die in order for a new plant or flower to spring to life. These situations are just like that. The pressure and heat is allowed to cause old, obsolete, or ugly things to die off, so a new person can emerge.

Did you ever ask yourself, "Why does this keep happening to me?" Does it seem like the same type of scenario keeps repeating itself, or the same type of irritating people keep appearing in your life, seemingly to torment you? And often the situation becomes more intense the more often it returns? This is because if we fail the test, we just get to repeat it over and over until we finally figure it out. This may feel cruel, but it is actually God giving us chance after chance to allow Him to work in our lives and make us better people. He is actually coaxing us, "Please let me do my work in you. Please let me make you into the person I need to use in my Kingdom."

There is a song that says, "The soul afraid of dying never learns to live." We need to learn to surrender to the process. It does not mean we just give up, but we say, "Ok, Father. I surrender to Your work in me. I allow my flesh to die so You can make me what You want me to be."

And remember, winter's dying seed becomes summer's rose. In dying we live, and letting the ugly die, the beautiful can emerge! Be encouraged, and surrender to God's process in you! He has beautiful plans for your life!

Keywords: amish, christian living, former amish, map ministry, mission to amish people, norma miller